the pen is mightier than the sword.

Sword, or words? justmove the s from sword to the back of word to get words. seems right now there is a battle of words, battle of who will be followed based on what they say. what “experts” say creates the perception for people. I am finding it quite disconcerting that people will accept as truth something simply because they seen on the news media or because some “expert” says it is this or that. I find it puzzling that people do not do their own research.

this comes down to trust, who do I trust to be telling the truth. is it doctor fauci? bill gates? the president? the head of world health organization? here is some biology for you. what is a virus? a exosome? a parasite particle? made up?

how about answering this? a virus is said to not eat, sleep breath, move, have a metabolism, or even reproduce (except it somehow manages to get hold of a dna of a cell). what do you call something that doesnt breath move, eat, or even move? dead. it is dead, not alive, not living. why are cells alive? they breath, they move, they have metaoblism they reproduce. they also can die. and rot away. I have read in zoology in high school and this biology book I have right now, virus arenot alive cannot reproduce without a host cells dna. so can someone tell me how a non living particle manages to get into the blood stream, hit a cell, push itself into the cell through it’s membranes which are alive and resist anything from getting in, flows through the cytoplasm, manage to get past the nucleus membrane which resists everything except nutrients it needs, then somehow manages to grab the dna splice it andattach itself to replicate itself? would this not require a active particle that is alive and has a program it is following?

now people are promised when we get a vaccine we can go back to normal?really? now what did they say? we still have to live like prisoners in our homes and avoid people like they have a plague even with the vaccine. they keep pushing the opening down the future, and keeping changing their minds, keeping making excuses, keep adding to the people burdens with extra masks must have vaccines for living, and yet the lockdowns stay into the unknown future? is this really about a virus? or is this about something else?

are people actually listening to the cdc, other doctors involved wuhan, who wrote/said that a sars cov virus has never been isolated, studied or examined. so how are they getting the sequence of something they never isolated, studied and examined it’s geno? do people actually have any thinking abilities at all? virus are all around us all the time we have more virus in our bodies than cells, yet we are not sick and dying on mass. doesnt anyone have a problem iwth the constant lying by authorities? with contradictory statements and decisons? did you know they claim there are about 300 type os influenza? if virus are mutating all the time how come when you get the flu/cold in winter it is only from one type? why not get the flu 2 3 4 times every year? why are we not sick throughout summer to deal with all the mutating virus?

or are we being played? I think it is we are being played. to what purpose? I dont know, I have heard them say this will go on for another five years, five years? lockdowns? social distancing? whatever happend to flatten the curve? I can see why people are frustrated, they dont talk about consequences of lockdowns, lost homes, suicides up 4 times the normal amount, children included, the drug use has skyrocketed,to deal with the depression and anxiety and large deaths of elderly in care homed due to neglect and lack of family interaction. now as much as a 1/4 of elderly are dying shortly after vaccination, did they promise them if they take it they will get to be with family again? makes one wonder. so was this about saving lives or something else?

remember all of this for a virus that has a 99.997 percent recovery (and most of those without medical care) for those under 80 and 99.96 percent for over 80. so dosnt this to others besides me seem extremly excessive and reeks of sinisterism? have they renamed flu and pnemonia covid to drum up the numbers and to get more money forthe hospitals? did you know they odnt count the flu deaths anymore? there are alot of questions the news media ignores.

the news media is not our friends. bill gates is not our friend, fauci,I am not sure about him he seems to flipflop back and forth is his doctor side in conflict with his politician side? what about the w.h.o guy? is he responsible for genocide in his home country as their health minister before coming to w.h.o?

these questions and more you all should be asking after all this vaccine cannot be taken out of your body once you takeit. and if you are taking a big risk like that shouldnt it mean back to freedom and erase of social distance and lockdowns? if not why not? why take the risk ofr a maybe? a risk for a vaccine which is experemental and drug companies have no liability? why would you want to be a uninformed ginea pig? do not rely on the news media to tell who is dying and being severly harmed by the ‘vaccine’thedrug companies wont admit the harm is caused by their ‘vaccine’.

please be careful who you trust with your life. there are conseqences for making the wrong choices in life. I hope you make good decisions that please Jehovah. may Jehovahs kingdom come quickly.

questions about virus/covid

I have a question based on this premis I just read in the biology book called prentice hall biology, aannotated teachers edition cant find the edition date seems fairly new very good condition, I am going to quotes exactly as written

“viruses are particles of nucleic acid and protein some contain lipids too a tyical virus is made of a core of dna or rna surrounded by a protein coat, a virus must invade or infect a living host cells to reproduce.” “some viruses called retroviruses contain rna as their genetic information. they produec a dna copy of their rna genes when they infect a cell. viruses are parasites they must infect a living cell in order to reproduce because viruses are not made up of cells and cannot live on their own virsus are not considered to be living”

first question if virus are not living how do they get into a cell? isnt the cell a living organism that that strictly controls what goes in and out activly? if a virus cant live on its own how come they are said to float on the air or you cough it out and thus infect others they cannot live on their own? dont they die within seconds of leaving the body? if it is not living how can it activly do anything? surely entering a cell, getting through all those cytoplasm, getting to the nucleus, and activly getting through, then spliting the dna to attach itself surly a non living thing cannot do such a thing? if they can i would have to see proof of that.

And if they have never isoalted a virus studied it’s geno how do they know its geno and if they know it how come they have to use a computer to fill in gaps? arent computers just doing what is programmed? how can it know what to put there unless the programmer put it there and how do we know the programmer did it right? And have they ever proven using controls and such that a virus actually causes a disease called aids or covid or anything else? I read how the pcr test works and they only get fragments of rna so they use a computer to fill in the gaps, this to me is very dishonest dont you think?

I looked up the word theory, (it meant best guess or speculation) so germ theory vs terrain theory are just best guesses, so how can they produce a vaccine when they are just guessing? And why are they so determined to give a vaccine (which some are saying is not a vaccine) to every human on the planetfor a virus which has a 99.997 percent survivablity? if your over 80 it is 99.94 percent?

and what does the united nations have to do with this? this great reset what is all that about? i hear some many opinions i dont know what to believe or understand it. here is a bit more frm the book. “in a lytic infection a virus attaches itself to a host cell it injects (doesnt this require active partipation? how can a non living thing do such a thing?) its dna into a cell the host cell strts making messenger rna from the viral dna. “

another question can we trust people in the government, cdc w.h.o. because they have consistently been show to lying, and not only this they keep making unsubstatiated statements left and right and changing the rules and basically making things up as they go. doesnt this raise red flags for anyone?

is there any way for me to get a pcr test and test soap that I used to wash my hands to see if rna or dna is in there? isnt soap similar to a virus makeup? protein and lipids and once you wash your hands dna/rna fragments?

there is one thing I cannot stand at all people who deliberatly lie for the purposes of deceiving, remember satan was the first liar who lied to deceive eve to lose her life and the life of her offspring. I hate this deceiving with a passion akin to a soldier fighting vigorously against a rivel who is trying to kill him

my reply to all of this is Jehovah “LET YOUR KINGDOM COME.”

Thank you for listening to my ventings.

blackjack oak?


welcome to covid land

Hello my dear friends in covid land. since this covid thing started I have wondered many things. I have listend to doctors and journalists, etc. I have read some interesting books and on and on. one thing I noticed, is that many are relying on mainstream news media for information on what is happening. the one big flaw of newsmedia is unsubstantiated comments. example global warming is causing droughts in such and such place. how do they know it is global warming? what are they basing their findings on? have these things happened in the past too? how much exploitation of the resources in the area or government interference has an area been dealing with? who benefits from convincing you of something that may not even be true?

As for covid this is the most bizaare thing I have ever seen in my lifetime. it is like someone flipped a switch or something, what do you all think? I never seen such a propaganda machine in overdrive except 9/11. any contrary information even if true is stamped misinformation. why? I was always told if you got nothing to hide why are you afraid of a gun toting and aggressive police action? why are they afraid of any examination or study of their statements and findings?

the questions are, is the pcr test reliable? what are they testing for? is the rna sequeace they are looking for actually fragments of the actual virus? how do they know the sequence of that virus? did the creator of the pcr test recommend using it for dignoses, or did he state it is for research only and not for finding infections? why are htey pushing so hard a vaccine for a virus with a 99.99 percent survivalbility? what is actually purpose for this vaccine? profit? population control? eugenics on mass? is there actually anything in there and it is a fraud for hte purpose of massive profits? why are the drug companies given full immunity? is this whole thing a diversion for something greater?

I can imagine that a vaccineis just saline solution, convincing people it is something helpful, what a scam, massive profits on saline solution?? so many questions but few substantiated evidence. so another question I just thought of is big medicine (psuedoscience) the actual quacks? witch doctors per say? who are the real healers and who are the creeps pretending to be? is this whole thing just another secular religion?

what do you all think? are there any real healers on board here? are the hospitals overwhelmed or is it as I heard they just seem to be because they had removed alot of beds due to the first lockdown? or are the lying? are the refrigerated trucks put there for a real overflow or for show? to drum up fear? who has experience in this stuff and is willing to be 100 percent truthful?

many of my friends seem to think this is all for real (even tho they have not experienced anyone dying from covid or with covid). and only one person I talked to is a nurse who works at a small hospital, she said they had a few on ventilators I asked about numbers of people being normal for this hosptial she said she worked in the operating room so I am not sure she could answer my question. which is fine.

truth or lies?


WOW, I have read alot of stuff, my head is spinning, this I have read myself, but even then is it true? or a distraction? the united nations website has allthat stuff about agenda 20/30. why would they advertise such a thing? to see how people react? because they are not scared of any population rising up against it? a distraction to what is really going on?

I dont know what is what is true in all this stuff, (benjamin fulford, dr. andrew kaufman, truth11 etc or what not), but this I do know, the bible explains a pushing and shoving of the king of the north and south. each striving for domination over the others. at first we thought it meant the pushing and shoving for the last 2000 years since Jesus walked the earth. Now we know it refers to this pushing and shoving started when the last days started. the king of the north (russia and its allies) against the king of the south (anglo american power and allies).

God gave quite a bit of description, the king of the north is against Gods true worshippers and prosecutes (like now putting many Jehovahs witnesses and some other christians too in prison and stealing their stuff). But the main target is against the preaching and teaching by Jehovahs witnesses of Gods kingdom especially the part about remaining neutral to politics and non involvment in military service and sharing scriptures such as daniel 2:44 revelation 19, or luke 21:4-8 to share just a few.

IN the south we still have freedom of worship including worship of Jehovah despite the preaching work telling the world join in Gods kingdom (government) and that all govenrments are on the verge of being destroyed.

we know that the king of the north will take the lead in trying to destroy Jehovahs witnesses, but first the kings of the north and south will cooperate in one task God wants them to do, turning on babylon the great world empire of false religion. in fact the bible indicates God puts it in the hearts of the rulers they will think it is their idea. sorry but that includes christendom, why? because they have misrepresented them and have not remain neutral in politics and have taught people to obey governments to the point of breaking Gods laws on murder worshipping false gods and participation in events that God dissapproves of. It also means supporting or advocating for human governments to solve the problems of the world.

it is good to remember what jesus did or in fact did not do, not participate in government functions, voting or supporting one human ruler over another. Jehovah has allowed thousands of years to prove that human rulerships outside Jehovahs arrangements means failure, misery suffering of astronomical levels. so now is the time to turn to Gods kingdom and support it by obedience to Gods laws and principles and dedicating oneself to him, as their sovereign, is there anyone else deserving of such devotion than Jehovah and his son Jesus for all that they have done for us.

so time will tell how all of this stuff willplay out, is the covid thing part of the lead up to the cry of peace and security that leads to the destruction of babylon the great (empire of false religion).? must watch carefully to see. I dont know about anyone else but I never heard of putting someone under house arrest without due process or habeas corpus, funny how governments can pretend they cna do what they want simply because they have the power to do so. law of the jungle much?? can you tell I am getting tired of all covid stuff. why? because I love my neighbor and do not like that goverment is determined to destroy them for their own agenda without regard to compassion love justice or humility. the real selfish are those pushing for eugenics, commit fraud on a massive scale, and showing their own hypocrisy of morality and virtue. I just wonder if all that I heard about the vaccine and 5g is true. I hope not.

we are wonderfully made

DSC00377I have been watching, listening and observing that something is in the air and it stinks. a virus has been declared an enemy requiring declaring war. okay, so we have a virus real or imagined in the air. Or in the news every single second. this scaring people is not only unwarranted but wicked.

Man has dealt with virus, for 6000 years. we have seen illness epidemics in the past (which some have offered alternative explanationto a virus that sounds more plausible which can be discussed later) Why has man been so successful against this ‘virus’?

Well, remember our creator is a wise, loving just creator who knows it all. unlike some people who think they know everything and deserve to be rulers over others. deutormony says at 32:4 “The rock perfect is his activity, for all his ways are justice a god of faithfulness who is never unjust, righteous and upright is he”.  Our bodies despite our imperfections do not need improvement through any of mans efforts or does it need to be suppressed through mans efforts either. it works as it should for 99 percent of the population. We do however need to treat it with respect by not smoking, abusing drugs including legal drugs, nor eating alot of junk (which I am guilty of myself) food eating nutritious foods and clean water.

Exercise in the sunshine wiht full air in the lungs is very healthy. restricting air flow for any reason is akin to stealing ones breath away. Not a good thing and God did not design us to restrict our air flow for any reason.  The bible condemns stealing anything what belongs to another. God gave us life, breath and all things hence no man has a right to deprive someone of it through legislation, or direct threat of violence for any reason. His laws says to love Him foremost and love your neighbor as yourself, and treat others the way you want to be treated. This is not a hard concept to understand.

Mans anger or wisdom or reasoning never  overrides Gods laws and principles. Never. Proverbs 3:5-6 says in part “trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding, in all your ways take notice of him and he will make your paths straight.” 

write this as a result of seeing the madness and division this pandemic of lies and subversion, is causing among the people involved. The whole world seems to have entered the twight light zone. Satan is surly working overtime and speeding up  his agenda as he knows his time is short.  Very short. This has me very concerned for my neighbors and for the violence being fostered upon them by governments and their advisors and their friends who seem to have forgotten one thing, they are human like the rest of us and are not above the law of God. They think if they dont believe in him he is not there. But he is all around us,his thoughts, his actions in the past his actions in the present and in the future will be felt worldwide. The bible calls this armegeddon, this is not war between men and men but between wicked men and God.

who will survive such a war? well ask yourself why did God choose noah to build the ark, preaching to others about a judgement day and to take care of the animals? why did he choose abraham over others? why did he protect lot and  his daughters against the fall of sodom and gomorah? They have one thing in common they loved God, they love rightousness and hated lawlessness they loved their neighbor as themselves and love God over all other things including self.  They showed it by their actions of not getting involved in politics, not getting involved in the violence of the day and not approving of the lawlessness and looking to God for direction in all things They were in a word obedient to God. 

I am sadden by the results of the lockdowns that have harmed more people than any virus and the scaremonging of postive results of tests which means someone has genetic material that they say belongs to a particular virus. what is even sadder these cases are just cases, no one was hospitilized, sick or even showing any symptoms. I had the flu in january was very sick, recovered, bet if I was tested for the flu I would test positive. what is even sadder they have admited the world health organization (along with my own doctors in the past) that your not contagious when not showing symptoms.

I am nearing 60 years old and do have health issues, but this viru doesnt scare me, it is the reactions and the peoples fear is scaring me to death. I have had sickeness almost every year sometimes more than once. I recovered despite my underlying health issues. It doesnt scare me, what is sad to si they are confusing people with using words like covid 19, covid 19 is the illness not the virus. covid 19 can be caused by other things too, like altitude sickness some kind of poisoning, something that caused the red blood cells to lose thier ability to carry oxygen. or enough of it for life.

some references books I suggest is
Goodbye germ theory, what really makes you ill and virus mania. also check out virus are exosomes, on the youtube, and andrew kaufman a  md, and others.



Injustice this time around

wow I am flabergasted by the whole quantine fiasco. yes quantine the sick not the healthy. anyway a man is being charged for breaking quantine and thus for threatening the health of others,never in my days did I ever see the government go after people because they might harm someone. humm, does anyone see the hypocrisy here because to me it is loud and clear. people who are charged with harm to others have to go to court and face their victims or the compliantiff and must prove he did the harm. 

Now they just have to pretend you did someone harm, no victim no crime, that has been thrown out the door, first  you couldnt take guns away because someone might do harm, you actually had to do bonfide harm to someone, now they can take you just because they believe you might do harm? what kind of crap is that? they also released very dangerous people from prison, and they did have proof they did harm others, wow, ABOSOLUTLY WOW!!!!! Government you have shown your hand and now everyone knows beyond a shadow of doubt your criminal/wicked.

Wow, I just cant get over this. wow, absolutly outrageous and wicked beyond any doubt. guilty until proven innocent has been growing in recent years.  now you have to prove youdidnt do something, have fun with trying to prove a negative. That is just so demonic, actually this is not far off base, the demons do run govenments more than they would like to admit. satan is a liar the father of lies, and a murderer.

People in government really have no excuse for this, after all God gave all humans a conscience, so they know this is so wrong. I am surprised their heads have  not exploded with finding ways to ease their consciences.

do not believe this is about health, it is political, it screams we are lying and just want to trample you underfoot. throw you  under the bus as we dont need you anymore. second how can you pass on a virus to someone when virus do not exist, how can something be non living (does not eat, breath and just sits there until the sun explodes it or something)gets into your body then can become alive by hijacking your cells? really? who comes up with this stuff. non life never comes to be living. second virus are a case of mistaken identity, first have you ever seen avirus? I havent, I have seen photos of paramciums, bacteria etc, but never a virus I have see exosomes which are studied for their rna sequences and thus these are called partial virus segments, I have never been tested for the flu when I go to the doctor sick have you? how does the doctor know it is a virus,or what kind? how does heknow it is not a poison, or food poisoning or something else?

LOOKs like medicine is a religion, something based on belief rather than actual concrete evidence. looks like the courts are a religion too charging people with heresy or crimes against religious beliefs, does all of this sound familiar? remember the spanish inquistion? people were tortured and charged with crimes against a belief system that had no evidence to validate it.

Jesus condemned the religous and secular rulers of his day for such injustice and cruelty. his feelings nad his fathers feeling (Jehovah) has not changed. is there such a thing as secular or non religious real facts anymore? Even evolution and geology has turned in to a religion, too. believe this or believe that, all look at the same evidence but come to a different conclusion, if that is the case it is not real science but religion.

when I see videos and stories of humans living free, using the earth God gave mankind, and harming no one, being harassed by roman legions, it makes me cry for that person. I cry for the criminal cartel flexing their muscles claiming ownership of you, the earth and resources which all belong to Jehovah he have nver re liquished the earth, he temporarily allows human gov but their time on earth is numbered. all the prophecies in the bible have been fulfull in our day except one, that cry of peace and security where the united nations will turn on babylon the great, empire of false religion. people wont believe it until it is too late. 

once that is done then they will turn on the true religion and thus jesus and the apostles (resurrected to spirit life) will storm against the wicked and wipe them out and that pray (matthew 6:9-10) will be answered. Just read the bible prophecy in revelation 6, 19, 14, this is just for starters.

this pandemic is fake, when has gov ever told you the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth? never, so dont believe them now, fear is a strong weapon of war when it is based on fraud, I believe the gov itself said terrorism is the use of threat of force or force to manipulate a population to change or alter their course without consent (of course I paraphrase dont remember exact wording) to their determint. maybe they need to reread their own policies, you see they are the monster they claimed to be fighting against.20191216_200428

for the love of chickens,


my new coop, spent the summer building this and the runs I have. tried to make it as pretty as I could too. demensions are 8 by 8 by 8 feet. at first it was mostly a open front and side (facing south) the north side is completly closed in for obvious reasons. but a friend had a bunch of windows in his truck he was just throwing awya hence the windows on this side, allows me to see right into the coop from my landing on the steps and I can see down in when I use the bathroom at night. that way I can keep a eye onthem. the coop is as predator proof as I could make it. lots of  hardward cloth. insummer the one big window opens up and I will take down the white corrugated roofing thing in the window there. the front is complete open front


roosts and poop board, I tried using pine shavings unfortunantly it is hard to spot clean you end up having to take out a ton of it to get the poop out.  this you see is low dust kitty litter, just the clumping kind. I cleanit daily and the floor had this stuff but I found wet shoes make for mushy clay. so I dont use it on the floor but keep it bear right now but I screap it daily for get up the poop and mud dragged in.


two of the runs I built covered in a frame and tarp. I have since changed the tarp on the first one putting a heavy duty large one to cover it completly because what I had on it as per the picture was not enought keep the rain out andkeep that main run dry.


that is the third run bigger than the other two, because I know come bad weather the chickens wont be out foraging as much and I wanted them to have alot of room, I plan on framing it up reinforcing, (make it look better) and covering it with some kind of clear plexiglass or corrugated roofing, to make it weather and predator proof as possible and a automatic door is goin in next year so I am not forced to get up early in summer to let them out. I dont mind putting htme in at night just dont want to get up early. I also plan if able to put greenhouse plastic or old windows (my friend seems to always have them) to make it into a greenhouse chicken run, and put in small troughs for plants. of course it will be protected from very foraging chickens, lol it is still a work in progress my intentions predator proofing more, and making it look better and neater.

the nations shall know I am Jehovah.


Hi there, I hope all is going well and no on is in trouble from all the storms that have gone through.  I have been watching alot of interesting videos and articles and books latly.   it is kind of funny because normally people like me (a non professional scientist) would even consider that much of what science says about fossils and the grand canyon and sedimentary layers and plate tectonics might be wrong, or partially wrong or even interpreted according to what you want to find.  for example the sciencetists have the same evidence/data yet come to very different interpretation and conclusions.

this cant be good you cannot have several interpretations of the same data and they all be correct. And I wont even touch on much about dishonesty in the field. So why is this important? well depending on whom you trust and believe determines the life course and choices you make.

For example if you believe the evolutionists or other scienctists who discredit the bible with thier conclusions, then your life course and expectations and understanding of the world will go the way based on that belief system. you will make decisions on that belief you will speak to others of that same idea and spread that idea.  This can have a domino affect for good or bad.

Hence the title of this note. The nations shall know that he is Jehovah. when you look at the world people have forgotten him, they have replaced him with materialism, sports, making money, vacations, or themselves as God or even scientists and doctors as highest authority on what is true, false, good or bad for us. People are looking to the government of man to solve problems. Thus they are looking to human solutions.

Hence Jehovahs reputation is on the line. Whenever people disregard logic and  follow blindly others who just happen to have  fancy title or wear a fancy coat with labels on them they bring reproach on Jehovah. Why? because they have disregarded him, gave credit to life to the god of blind chance. They have taken up Satans ideology. They have disregard logic, and wisdom, and well hurt his feelings.

As a result they forgot god and you see the results in the world, the increasing violence in a nation of christendom, a nation of people who should know better as they have access to the bible. you have racial violence, violence in the drug war, you have violence by government not protecting their people from invaders and free loaders who burden the citizens down and put them in danger. You have family violence parents mistreating their kids, their parents or mistreating each other, you have legalized murder of children, and parents who do not know what is right and wrong anymore in raising their kids, you have government violence against the people with counterfieting the money, counterfieing laws, and putting more and more pressure on people who are just trying to live. All because of forgetting Jehovah.

But while most have forgotten Jehovah some have remembered him and honored him, and in return Jehovah has not forgotten them and the love they showned for him and as a result in ezekiel it states The nations shall know Jehovah 28 times. Why again? because to honor his name and honor those who love him and cannot allow wickedness to continue indefinitly.

Most will not know him voluntarily, they will not acknowledge his right to rule over his own creation.  They will have to be forced, pharoah had to be forced, the assyrian king senacribe had to be forced to know, and it was not a pretty sight. This force is the last resort, peace and justice must be put in place for the sake of his name and those who love rightousness.

This violence perpetuated on Gods sheep must be stopped. He will act in due time, as the wickedness has reached to its peak. but if peace and prosperity is to be had by all obedient humans the wicked people must go. they wont step down willingly but will haveto be forced.

this will not give him any pleasure,  but it has to be done. then the real life can begin.



hurricane storm

Hi gang, have not been on here awhile, for several months I was very sick, as per my last post about anxiety surges and sugar, I came to realize it was more to it then that, I had anxiety and depression, fatigue you just would not believe.  in fact I was so puzzled by how I felt, I went to the doctor to find out what is up with this well things got so bad I was actually suicidal, that is how bad it was. I seriously was completating suicide to escape this misery. it went on for almost four months. The doctor told me this was the change of life, I cannot believe the change of life (menopausal) could be so horrible!!!! Well I am better now that I realized what it was, everything calmed down, I thought it would never be over the anxiety, depression the extreme  fatigue and loss of appetite or I was just to tired to eat sometimes,

in fact I would wake up the next day and had no desire to get out of bed I dreaded the fatigue and inability to take naps during the day from the severe fatigue depression and anxiety. I dreaded dealing with it. But that is over thank goodness the doctor put me on a antidepressant, it was such a low dose I thought why not.

I wont even talk about the hot flashes in the middle of the night.  this was the least of my suffering compared to the other stuff. Anyway if you ever feel like this go see a doctor don’t try to go it alone. if your so miserable and suicidal go get help. they can find out what is wrong and help you cope better.

This is my rant/post for now. And yes it felt like I was being carried along by a hurricane storm too. totally horrible is a understatement.IMG_20170702_131231444

high insulin and adrenalin, axis of evil

newstuff 1049howdy powdies, here I am again, I have been around dealing with health issues, and trying to address them. here it is so far, first I did reduced carb diet, in December, got sick for 3 weeks in  January, okay in feburary, I managed to comfortably for the most part, keeping carbs around 200 sometimes I stayed under with little difficulty sometimes I went over a little, but all in all I have been sticking to it.

And before you pat me on the back willpower has little to do with it, I am not as in control as I thought. Anyhow, about a week or so ago, I had one of my middle of the night anxiety attacks out of the blue, rough night, the next day realized I have a cold or sinus infection, again, went to the doctor he said possibly a virus, but call if not better within five days, so I did, antibotics, yuck again. I decided to add some changes to my diet, reduce milk consumption which lowering my carb I have been getting a lot of my protein (since I don’t like a lot of meat and hate all that cooking). I read that it has a high insulin index.

nothing like raising your insulin without enough glucose in there to buffer the reactions and avoiding the adrenaline surges from hell.  (I also then remembered anytime I get female hormone shifts I get these attacks and get sick too). I was suffering for several days feelings of anxiety and dread throughout the day, not understanding what is going on.

Just controlling my thoughts and breathing did little. I felt kind of trapped, okay I felt very trapped in a surge of anxiety I couldn’t control with my thoughts and breathing and refocusing on something else. I hate taking medications for stuff like this rather get on with finding the underlying cause get it taken care of and move on.

well all in all these surges of adrenalin, I realized from past research, is how the body counteracts high insulin, it is a antagonist. high insulin means little fat and sugar in blood to fuel the brain which is resistant to normal amounts of glucose (hence hyperglycemia temporarily) I liken it to a beach where the waves come in surge over the embankment and fill in the little low lying area behind the embarkment, the waves subside and the water eventually drains out of the little pond.

Then of couse once it dries you need another surge of ocean wave to get over the embankment and the process continues. I liken this to the sugar in our blood when in normal range, is not enough to overcome the blood brain barrier in sufficient amounts to give the brain fuel, in comes adrenaline and cortisol to raise the sugar above normal to get that sugar critter in there.

this roller coaster ride is literally a living hell, if I may use that expression. don’t know what other word to use to convey how horrible it is. But I found this to be the case when I feel anxiety or a feeling of weirdness, or that sensation like I want to cry (depression) I eat some fruit.

do you know those feelings and adrenalin go away? this hs been a repeated process over the years I noticed. when I feel lousy eat.  I told my doctor this, (he just did a physical my readings as for fasting is 98 for blood sugar, 215 for triglycerides (it went down) and over all cholesterol went down, still on high side, hdl is up, ldl is down but still in  high range but almost borderline.) he just shrugged it and had nothing to say, just looked at me, like hum.

so all along I  have been having psuedohypoglcymia, my sugars are in  normal range but my brain is not getting enough of it at those levels you need a surge, unless you can get insulin resistance to reduce get those insulin levels down, get the cells to respond properly again.

so here I sit writing this to let you all know, maybe your hypoglcymic, and don’t know it, doctors only look at numbers they still don’t understand fully how our bodies work, so it is best ot not rely on them fully for your health care. do your research, experiement, see what helps you. For many keto diets or borderline seem to help reverse insulin resistance (it also means you stop eating all that junk which itself can  help reverse this roller coaster from hell.

And of course for those of us who have a history of heavy antibiotic use this is crucial as fungus overgrowth can also causes symtpoms like this too as it is eating the sugar meant for the brain. but reducing sugar supplementing with sulfer products like alpha lipoic acid, or iron sulfate or Epsom salts (soaking not eating) and multi vitamin or vitad3,  cinnamon, all of these are antifungal, probiotics too., turmeric is good, anything that it itself is antifungus helps. by the way fruit is okay sure it has sugar but it also has chemicals in there that fungus hate.

The best fruits seem to be apples, grapefruits and other tropical fruits which has to defend itself against fungus being in a humid climate like the tropics. I found that apples really do me good. also grapefruits. I found that the anxiety has subsided sleep has improved (except I pulled my back felt so good did some cleaning and because I was dehydrated from the diarrhea of the antibiotic) in comes the advil. yikes I took to much. anyway all is settled down, today my back is healing I am sleeping better. last night has a mild reaction couldn’t get back to sleep for a little while, I should never drink anything with milk again before bed, so I wont. I do okay if I do so in the morning then don’t drink anymore during the day. I keep it around 1 or 2 cups per day, yesterday I think I went over that.

so I hope this all helps someone out there, I hate these roller coaster rides and if I can help just one person over come them permenatly, my efforts at sitting here typing with my back protesting this chair it was well worth it.

xiexie, tian, you hao.  (thank you and have a good day)